Glamping is for Wusses

Meet my dad's protégé.

Meet my dad’s protégé.

Camping is awesome. I loved doing it as far back as I can remember. My father is one of the most outdoorsy guys I know. I’m convinced he trained Bear Grylls. He hikes, hunts, fishes, kayaks, the works. And that love of the outdoors has passed down to me and my siblings.

Allow me to define camping for you so there’s no confusion. Camping is the spending of time outdoors overnight in the confines of nothing more than a four-walled tent (but it could also be a lean-to or cave or something awesome like that). You have a campfire going, you’re pulling food out of coolers (or rehydrating MREs if you’re super intense), you’re using lanterns and flashlights, and you’re falling asleep cocooned by a sleeping bag. That there, folks, is the definition of camping.

This is camping.

This is camping.

And then there’s this concept of glamping. It’s the sissy way of sleeping outdoors. In case your soft, weakened mind couldn’t figure it out, glamping combines the words glamour and camping. Neat, huh? Not really. I’m offended by glamping. How could you possibly appreciate the beauty of nature by being sheltered by the comforts you could find in your home? If you couldn’t possibly be apart from your daily creature comforts for one single night, don’t even bother! Stay home with your DVR, your microwave, and your WiFi. Us real men and women will be fine without you.

This is not camping. This is glamping

This is not camping. This is glamping

Now before you get all defensive, there are some exceptions. Well, there’s one. If you have done your fair share of camping over the years without complaint and with genuine enjoyment, you deserve to utilize a camper or something like that (shout out to you, Mom!). But that’s the only exception. For everybody else, suck it up. Oh and traveling around in an RV or camper is not camping. It’s traveling around in an RV or camper. It’s fun, but unless you bust out a tent at some point, you didn’t actually camp.

Now I appreciate an upscale hotel or a tropical beach as much as the next guy, but camping is a whole other experience everyone should enjoy. There is something about marooning yourself out in the middle of nowhere and living off the bare necessities for a few days (or longer) that clears the mind and refreshes the soul. Plus, there is nothing more affirming to a guy than to be able to hack down a tree, build a fire, and feed his girl. All the other dudes need a Chinese take-out joint on speed dial. Those guys are sad.

Have you ever been camping? Truly camping? If you haven’t, do it soon! Autumn is an awesome season to camp! The leaves look amazing, the smell in the air is incredible, and it’s cool enough that a fire is welcoming, but not so cold that you feel like a character from a Jack London novel. So men, get out there and prove you have some vestige of masculinity left in you. Women, break the stereotypes of females and head into the wilderness. Say goodbye to sissy glamping and say hello to epic camping! My tirade is now done. Feel free to comment below!